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Old 08-14-18   #151
satanubis
 
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 116

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Default Re: BartmanHomer's creative writing and discussions

I think this is a good chapter, but you need to give it a once over before you post your chapters. Like at the end after Patrick tells Sunbeam that he is sorry to hear that, you repeat Patrick's name twice. That's a mistake I have done too. Just make a once over before submitting your chapters. Also check grammar. I know, broken record here.
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