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Old 02-21-17   #141
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So what does everybody else think of my Yu-Gi-Oh: Inferno story?
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Old 03-12-18   #142
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Write a story about me! What the fuck, I've been a member since this morning! I didn't bravely sneak into this shithole country to be ignored!
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Old 07-19-18   #143
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I'm going to write a fantasy story about a human make befriend with a fairy? So what do you think about it?
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Old 07-24-18   #144
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Sounds interesting. Make sure you come up with a good plot before you start writing. It doesn't have to be specific, it can be general, but you always need a plot before writing.
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Old 07-25-18   #145
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Quote:
Originally Posted by satanubis View Post
Sounds interesting. Make sure you come up with a good plot before you start writing. It doesn't have to be specific, it can be general, but you always need a plot before writing.
Ok I'm thinking of one. It's very difficult to make a good plot for a new story.
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Old 07-30-18   #146
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Ok I found a plot for this story. I'm going to write it soon.
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Old 07-31-18   #147
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Default Partick And Sunbeam

Chapter 1

In the world of humans and fairies and other magicial creatures existed in the world of Flay. The story all started in the rocky mountains in the morning. A male human named Patrick Wands who appear to be tall, muscular build, light skin with red hair. He was climbing up the mountains. He was up about by 500 feet. Somehow he was losing his grip and fell down to the mountains. He thought he wasn't going to survive until a tall male muscular fairy flew down and got Patrick arms. The male fairy saved Patrick life. So the fairy and Patrick land on the ground.

"You saved my life. Thank you." said Patrick as he thank the fairy for saving his life.

"You're welcome. I'm glad I was there. I saw you fall down the mountains. It's a good thing I save you otherwise you'll be dead as fairydust." said the male fairy.

"My name is Patrick Wands." replied Patrick as he introduced himself.

"My name is Sunbeam Spiderfleck." replied Sunbeam.

"How can I ever thank you?" asked Patrick.

"Well since I saved your life, I was just wondering that we could be BFF?" asked Sunbeam.

"Wow BFF with a fairy? I never have a BFF with a fairy before. Sure I'll be your BFF." said Patrick as he agree with his new friendship with Sunbeam Spiderfleck and so their friendship begins.

TO BE CONTINUED
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Old 08-01-18   #148
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It sounds like it is going to be a good story, but I think you need to stretch the first chapter out a bit more. Maybe explain why Patrick was climbing the mountains. Also look at your grammar. I'm a broken record. I just say this because I still do it today with my fanfictions and have to use a grammar review before I post mine.
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Old 08-01-18   #149
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Originally Posted by satanubis View Post
It sounds like it is going to be a good story, but I think you need to stretch the first chapter out a bit more. Maybe explain why Patrick was climbing the mountains. Also look at your grammar. I'm a broken record. I just say this because I still do it today with my fanfictions and have to use a grammar review before I post mine.
No you're not a broken record. You're just being honest. I need criticism.
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Old 08-14-18   #150
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Default Patrick And Sunbeam

Chapter 2

Patrick and Sunbeam was walking back to Patrick's village better know as Fladra.

"So what were you doing up in the mountain anyway Patrick?" asked Sunbeam.

"It's part of my hobby. I do extreme hobbies such as mountain climbing, swimming in extreme waters and among other things." replied to Patrick.

"Oh wow. That's wonderful." said Sunbeam impressively.

"What do you for fun?" asked Patrick.

"Oh I exercise. Fight orcs, goblins and other evil races. I basically do the same thing as you do Patrick." replied Sunbeam.

"Wow we have so much in common." said Patrick.

"We sure do. Do you have any family?" asked Sunbeam.

"Yes I do. I have a wonderful wife named Carrie. An older son named Stan and my youngest daughter named Bonnie. What about your family Sunbeam?" asked Patrick.

"I have three sisters. Bluebell, Jupnier and Lily." replied Sunbeam.

"Who's the oldeest and youngest?" asked Patrick.

"Bluebell is the oldest. Then Jupnier and Lily is the youngest. I'm older than all three of my sisters." said Sunbeam.

"Do you have any parents?" asked Patrick.

"My mother and father died during the invasion of orcs in my village. It's called Faeria. The invasion was so chaotic and brutal. The orcs nearly wiped out the entire village. They killed my parents and most of my friends that I grew up. Luckily my three sisters and I survive the orc invasion. How much I hated these orcs so much. The way there nearly destroyed my village. slaughtering my friends and my parents. You see the reason why I fight against orcs and among other evil races who prejudice against fairies." replied Sunbeam depressively as he explained to Patrick about the bad memories he have during the orc invasion.

"I'm so sorry to hear that." said Patrick as he consoled Patrick.

"Yes I get terrible nightmare to relive that moment." said Sunbeam angrily.

"We're here." said Patrick as both of them arrived to Fladra.

TO BE CONTINUED
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