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Old 10-25-15   #1
Fethenwen
 
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Default Allowed to feel good? *rant*

I sometimes feel like I am not allowed to be feeling healthy and happy...

Meh, it's a bit hard to explain. But I do feel pressure from society in general, that if you are healthy, happy and fit - then you must be one of those people that are too self-absorbed. Do you know what I mean?

Like there is a subtle dislike of people who just happen to take care of themselves. I understand that there are circumstances in life that makes it impossible - traumatic events, sickness and money issues really can take it's toll. Been there myself, and yes, it is annoying to have this super cheery person tell you that you should get a grip in that situation.
But, as long as one is not stepping on other peoples toes, where does this dislike come from?

I try to not think too much about what other people think of me, basically doing my own thing. But sometimes I have this nagging feeling and find myself to be "one of those people", fitting in a category that some people really find super annoying.

I enjoy life and enjoy doing things that makes my life easier and enjoyable, like for instance being able to breathe properly and fully. And yes, I do enjoy my kale salad, I actually happen to like the taste, thank you very much.
Does it have to be a crime these days? Are we not allowed to enjoy life without having to be judged as self-absorbed or you know too laid-back or a case of orthorexia?

*sigh*
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Old 10-26-15   #2
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Default Re: Allowed to feel good? *rant*

I read this a few times to get the feel of it - it seems there's a lot of judging going around these days, often people don't seem to even know they're doing it. Your desire to feel healthy and follow a lifestyle based on that is a fine and beautiful thing. This year, I've had many people around me who judged me and gave me grief, when I didn't deserve it, when my feelings were deeply hurt and longtime friendships dissolved. I understand that there can be deeply held resentments that erupt and take you by surprise - but my advice, FWIW is this; don't let that happen. As soon as you see that people are judging or resenting you (it's often both) let them go. The longer you invest in wanting to be respected, wanting people to be better towards you, the worse it is when it finally ends. Care of the self means more than the body, it means care of the soul as well. And for me, it took a half century to understand, that means protecting myself from the nastiness of other people. I will be cared about and treated with respect if it means I am only with Alex ever. There is no room n my life for un-aware, unkind people. I would advise you from the bottom of my heart to do the same, Anyone who resents you taking good care of yourself should be evaluated and potentially moved away from. It's your responsibility to care for yourself - another lesson that was hard for me - how can we humans be of any use to others if we're run down and sick and not at our best?

Hold your head up - and be who you are. I try to be kind and send love to those how have betrayed, attacked and abandoned me. But was their choice, or perhaps some cases simply cannot understand things. Either way - be who you are, and those who are on a similar wavelength, will find you - and cherish you without this kind of judgement.
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Old 10-26-15   #3
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Default Re: Allowed to feel good? *rant*

Quote:
Originally Posted by feranaja View Post
I read this a few times to get the feel of it - it seems there's a lot of judging going around these days, often people don't seem to even know they're doing it. There is no room n my life for un-aware, unkind people. I would advise you from the bottom of my heart to do the same, Anyone who resents you taking good care of yourself should be evaluated and potentially moved away from. It's your responsibility to care for yourself - another lesson that was hard for me - how can we humans be of any use to others if we're run down and sick and not at our best?
So true that. A really good point, and something I do try to remember. As I am on the path of becoming a "healer", or at least I take care of people, it does become important to take care of one self. There is nothing worse than having to extend yourself for others while being sick. (like giving massage while your own neck is hurting like hell)

There really seems to be a lot of judging these days, people overall categorize themselves and others more easily I guess. That creates a lot of tension. *sigh* Yes, I need to just try to do my own thing and not let this bring me down. I have at least one friend on facebook that I should unfollow, she is posting a lot of unnecessarily negative and judging things (not about me personally).


Quote:
Hold your head up - and be who you are. I try to be kind and send love to those how have betrayed, attacked and abandoned me. But was their choice, or perhaps some cases simply cannot understand things. Either way - be who you are, and those who are on a similar wavelength, will find you - and cherish you without this kind of judgement.
Thank you Fera. Yes, I have heard that you have gone through a lot. I think that for the most part (without knowing that many details), that kind of out of nowhere type of judgment and hatred comes from bitterness and even jealousy. That you are living a life of your calling, and then there is this someone who are not able to do the same, and might feel that they have a right to criticize and judge just to feel better.

I just realized that perhaps I just should stop worrying so much, and just be as grateful as I feel I am right now. And give thanks.
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Old 10-27-15   #4
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Default Re: Allowed to feel good? *rant*

Yes, I've been through the wringer this year and it looks like it may not be quite over. But that's ok; better to face the years ahead with friends I can count on, who respect me and whom are worthy of me, than surround myself with those who have, shall we say, further to go along the way than I do. It may sound elitist, and I really don't care, but I do think we humans are happier when we select friends from those who are on a similar wavelength. I'd much rather be alone than surrounded with people whose development is stuck in junior high, emotionally. Things have changed for me and I have lost people I dearly loved, but it was their choice and their loss. Some comes from jealousy, some from stupidity and some from inflated ego(and the wonderful combination, all three). It matters not. I feel lighter, more clear and happier, or at least more at peace, than I have in a long time..focused on my work, my daily life, my blessings and my inner work. I wish that for you too - and that it NOT take you half a century to get there! (half joking - it will take as long as it takes, you know?)

Images and attitudes on FB can really get to me if I'm not careful. Please protect yourself, Fethenwen. you are doing such important work. Find ways to reinforce that sense of purpose and value when you are wavering; avoid the people that undermine you. And hang out here! ESF may be quiet, but we'll be sticking around.

fera
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