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Old 11-19-13   #1
feranaja
 
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Default Interesting article on Asperger's

http://seventhvoice.wordpress.com/20...hize-too-much/


"People with Asperger’s syndrome, a high functioning form of autism, are often stereotyped as distant loners or robotic geeks. But what if what looks like coldness to the outside world is a response to being overwhelmed by emotion – an excess of empathy, not a lack of it? This idea resonates with many people suffering from autism-spectrum disorders and their families. It also jibes with the “intense world” theory, a new way of thinking about the nature of autism.
As posited by Henry and Kamila Markram of the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Lausanne, the theory suggests that the fundamental problem in autism-spectrum disorders is not a social deficiency but, rather, a hypersensitivity to experience, which includes an overwhelming fear response."
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Old 11-20-13   #2
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Default Re: Interesting article on Asperger's

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Originally Posted by feranaja View Post
"People with Asperger’s syndrome, a high functioning form of autism, are often stereotyped as distant loners or robotic geeks. But what if what looks like coldness to the outside world is a response to being overwhelmed by emotion – an excess of empathy, not a lack of it? This idea resonates with many people suffering from autism-spectrum disorders and their families. It also jibes with the “intense world” theory, a new way of thinking about the nature of autism.
As posited by Henry and Kamila Markram of the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Lausanne, the theory suggests that the fundamental problem in autism-spectrum disorders is not a social deficiency but, rather, a hypersensitivity to experience, which includes an overwhelming fear response."
Diagnosed in 1993; and I can attest that the above is absolutely true. My problem has never been that I don't care. It's that I have to focus most of my energy on trying not to, if I want to stay sane.

To expand on this a little further, I realise that my single biggest psychological problem, is that for the last six years at least, my time on the Internet has, for the most part, consisted of being in environments where I am hated, and where I am repeatedly told that my entire view of reality is fundamentally delusional. Said time online has also, for the most part, represented the entirety of my interaction with other human beings.

This has, over time, created an expectation that I will be hated, which has in turn led to intense fear of the rest of humanity, and an attempt at hardening myself emotionally when dealing with others. I go into virtually every exchange or interaction that I have online now, with the reflexive expectation that it will involve conflict, and sometimes conflict which will cause me severe emotional injury. I'm constantly on guard.

That is also, I think, the major reason why I've behaved so badly at times, as well. You end up with the mentality that people are going to hate you anyway, so you really have nothing to lose. I need to change my assumption, which is hard, and involves risk.

Last edited by petrus4; 11-20-13 at 03:13 AM.
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Old 11-20-13   #3
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Default Re: Interesting article on Asperger's

I'm probably mild-to-moderate myself and working in IT I work closely enough with a fair few others[1] to pretty much agree with Petrus. The idea that a new group might not treat you like the last lot is something I have to work at.

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[1] at a series of safety-case meetings a few years ago, my PA once joked that she was the abnormal one because she was the only one without some degree of Asperger's.
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Old 11-20-13   #4
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Default Re: Interesting article on Asperger's

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Originally Posted by petrus4 View Post
Diagnosed in 1993; and I can attest that the above is absolutely true. My problem has never been that I don't care. It's that I have to focus most of my energy on trying not to, if I want to stay sane.

To expand on this a little further, I realise that my single biggest psychological problem, is that for the last six years at least, my time on the Internet has, for the most part, consisted of being in environments where I am hated, and where I am repeatedly told that my entire view of reality is fundamentally delusional. Said time online has also, for the most part, represented the entirety of my interaction with other human beings.

This has, over time, created an expectation that I will be hated, which has in turn led to intense fear of the rest of humanity, and an attempt at hardening myself emotionally when dealing with others. I go into virtually every exchange or interaction that I have online now, with the reflexive expectation that it will involve conflict, and sometimes conflict which will cause me severe emotional injury. I'm constantly on guard.

That is also, I think, the major reason why I've behaved so badly at times, as well. You end up with the mentality that people are going to hate you anyway, so you really have nothing to lose. I need to change my assumption, which is hard, and involves risk.
Well you certainly aren't hated HERE! Sometimes I will call you out if I think you've been overhasty or generalizing again, but I do that as a friend, because I think it's important for friends to be honest with each other. Now, I have reservations because there's a downside to being "ADMIN" (said in a deeeep, serious voice) - people might feel they can't give the same feedback to me, or I'll get angry (and in past, to be fair, I have been prone to intolerance of certain criticisms, not all as has been said, but I resent being identified as a beginner in magic, or as an enfeebled ancient, those two are false and irritate me, lol). I tend to reserve a lot of things I might say in a positive-criticism way (speaking here in general, not just you, petrus) in case the person I'm addressing feels they can't "talk back" to ADMIN here...and that's not fair at all. but I think constructive criticism is important and vastly different from the kind of crap you've experienced elsewhere. I hope you continue to feel like ESF is a circle of friends, and that will undoubtedly entail some disagreements and even conflict, but it's never about "hate" or gods forbid, scapegoating.

In other words, we looves you, petrus!
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Old 11-20-13   #5
petrus4
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Default Re: Interesting article on Asperger's

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Well you certainly aren't hated HERE!
I know, Fera; and that was actually part of my point. I'm not hated in other places, either; or I wouldn't need to be. It's actually my expectation of hostility that really causes the problem.

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In other words, we looves you, petrus!
Thank you. *big hugs back*

That picture is also really cute.
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Old 11-20-13   #6
Katharine
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Default Re: Interesting article on Asperger's

Hey we disagree sometimes Petrus, but at the end of the day, I enjoy a good discussion with you, and everyone else here. Hell, MonSno and I disagree about almost everything and we still manage to converse comfortably.

On the bright side, Fera, you know for sure at least a few people who you can get real feedback from. I never hesitate to criticize ANYONE. You want the unvarnished truth, even if the truth is you're being a dumbass; come to me. You want to be called out and made to defend yourself whether you're right or not; MonSno's good for that. And you got a great hubby at your shoulder for a gentle nudge when you don't want to hear it.

I can attest to the fact that you don't abuse administrative privilege too. I left ESF cause I wanted to, and came back cause I wanted to.

As to the topic at hand. I have panic attacks. People call me a Vulcan because I not only completely contain my emotional responses so no on ever sees them, but I can choose not to even FEEL emotions for an extended period.

I have told people on occasion things like "Yes, I am feeling 'blank'. No, it doesn't matter, so I am not going to address that emotion. Right now, we need to be reasonable adults and deal with this logically. I'll deal with the emotion later. Now cool off and think for a minute so we can have a grown up conversation please."

Unfortunately, the most common response is "I'm not a damn Vulcan! I don't know how you do that, but I can't!"

I've been told it bothers people that I don't seem to care. I don't exhibit signs of stress, I check out emotionally during confrontations. So I get accused of not caring about my relationships with other people.

In particular I often say exactly the wrong things when someone is emotionally distraught. My modus operandi is to solve a problem first, THEN deal with the emotional strain it caused, and people get offended when they come to me in tears and I say "how can you fix the problem?" instead of "How can we make you feel better?"

When you just lost your job "feeling better" is not your damn priority. Paying the bills is. I don't care if you feel like crap, as long as you find an income. Short term misery is sometimes the price of longterm happiness. A week sitting at home eating ice cream and feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to seem worth it when you default on a mortgage because you were one week late getting a new job.

Hell, I don't mind telling people I'm in therapy for medical reasons. I'm transgender and autistic, it's a medical requirement. I started going to this place and didn't even approach the subject of emotional stability until they'd helped me take care of my finances and housing, and gotten an idea of what I need to do for medical treatment.

May you find what you seek,
Katharine
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Old 11-20-13   #7
MonSno_LeeDra
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Default Re: Interesting article on Asperger's

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Hey we disagree sometimes Petrus, but at the end of the day, I enjoy a good discussion with you, and everyone else here. Hell, MonSno and I disagree about almost everything and we still manage to converse comfortably.
He he Not as much as you might think. Figure a lot of it I agree with so there's no reason to post or question what you've written. In many ways I have the same type online relationship with Petrus, something I disagree with a speak up, other things I agree and pretty much remain silent unless it seems needed.

Quote:
On the bright side, Fera, you know for sure at least a few people who you can get real feedback from. I never hesitate to criticize ANYONE. You want the unvarnished truth, even if the truth is you're being a dumbass; come to me. You want to be called out and made to defend yourself whether you're right or not; MonSno's good for that. And you got a great hubby at your shoulder for a gentle nudge when you don't want to hear it.
Believe it or not I do actually try to be tactful about it. I just don't have much use for the "You've got to be tolerant of everything!" Heard to many bogus claims over the years that are presented as fact and expected to be taken at face value. I suppose that goes back to critical thinking and analysis of things.

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I can attest to the fact that you don't abuse administrative privilege too. I left ESF cause I wanted to, and came back cause I wanted to.
See I can agree with that and did the same myself.

Quote:
As to the topic at hand. I have panic attacks. People call me a Vulcan because I not only completely contain my emotional responses so no on ever sees them, but I can choose not to even FEEL emotions for an extended period.
After 23 years in the military and a number as a first responder you get to the point of turning off your emotions about a lot of things. You can't search a wreck when your fearful of what you'll find or your emotions make you stupid and dangerous to yourself and whomever your trying to help.

Far to many times it seems appropriate to everyday life when one has to evaluate things coldly and unemotionally. Respond now, feel later is usually how I see things done most often and do them myself.
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Old 11-20-13   #8
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Default Re: Interesting article on Asperger's

I accept criticism from people who fulfill two criteria; first, they respect me! - and second, they can take it back as well as give. In terms of respect;I have had way WAY too much completely ridiculous(and just trust me, you couldn't make it up) "critcism" - read: moronic attacks - from people who know nothing at all about animals: think of the "these go to eleven" clip from SPinal Tap and you'll catch my drift. I can't take anymore, lol! And two, I really appreciate being reminded that I can be too sensitive, quick to anger, or I need a good night's sleep - but it needs to be reciprocal. Otherwise, a weird dynamic develops, you know? I don't do put-downs,and I won't accept them - they are very, very different from critique.
Or put another way;

if know you loooves me, or even if you think I'm kinda ok - you can say pretty much anything and I will value and accept it. (except Daniel - don't be dissing my main man!) Conversely,If I know you're sitting there just waiting to take the next potshot at me, and especially if you don't have the spine to be open about that? amp up your shield, I am sending it back with interest.


"love and light"...:P
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Old 11-21-13   #9
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Default Re: Interesting article on Asperger's

See MonSno, you even disagree with me about disagreeing with me.

But, you keep me on my toes. I figure, you really know your shit. I may not be able to convince you, even when I am right (though you're usually equally right) but if I can't at least find a decent counter argument, I'm probably wrong.

If I have to explain something to someone who disagrees with me, and my own argument doesn't sound good to ME, then I need to reevaluate. That's an opportunity I only get if someone at least as smart as I am disagrees with me.
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Old 05-10-14   #10
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Unhappy Re: Interesting article on Asperger's

Quote:
Originally Posted by feranaja View Post
http://seventhvoice.wordpress.com/20...hize-too-much/


the theory suggests that the fundamental problem in autism-spectrum disorders is not a social deficiency but, rather, a hypersensitivity to experience, which includes an overwhelming fear response."
This. I was thinking just the other day that I'm constantly in fear. I don't know if I have an autism spectrum, but we're pretty sure my dad has aspergers, and my cousin is autistic. It's hard to know if I'm reacting on a daily basis to the world in general, or if i'm trying to recover from a series of ptsd triggers. I think it varies, and unfortunately is sometimes both at once. I tried looking up information for children of mentally ill parents, but they don't have any support groups outside of australia. They suggest people in the states to go to AA or something. it doesn't make any sense.

I also have come almost to an expectation of being hated. I get paranoid when I go out in public - I feel like people are judging me and i become uncomfortable or radiate "back off" vibes. I try to join groups sometimes, but it seems like I always fall out of favor and end up alone. People seem so cliquey and I am incapable of sucking up to the "leader." They're all "respect my authoritah!" and I'm like "nah".

I try to engage in romantic-type relationships and I feel like as soon as I let down my guard and unleash this giant wave of unconditional love I am rejected. Things could be so much simpler. I don't understand how to navigate society and I'm often jealous that my brother has managed, though his fiancée seems to think he gets by because he's a programmer and not required to have social skills.
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