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Old 09-15-13   #21
Flailing Idiot
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Default Re: Question for the Guys

yes. The insane goofiness does it.
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Old 09-15-13   #22
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Default Re: Question for the Guys

Kind of like a young Goldie Hawn? Dunno how that goofiness holds up over time,and Goldie has gone NUTS with lip-collagen, sadly - but she was cute in a homely way when she was young.

It's actually very endearing that you like that in a woman!
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Old 09-15-13   #23
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the goofier the better.
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Old 09-24-13   #24
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Well... I don't get it either. Honestly, I can't even imagine myself with a woman whose morals I find despicable. I admit, I am first attracted by, well, physical attractiveness but if I then find out someone's opinions are dark and cruel... I'm out of there!

My current, and very long term, girlfriend is a much nicer person than I am and that isn't by accident. I just don't stay with horrible people, why would you?
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Old 09-25-13   #25
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Originally Posted by feranaja View Post
can you feel attraction to a woman who you know embodies everything you find disgusting?Or even a few things?
for me yes.

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Originally Posted by MonSno_LeeDra View Post
This is probably just my perspective but I think in many ways there is a separation in my mind between a woman i'd want to settle down or even consider settling down with and one i'd see as just a sexual partner.
then you have what is sometimes called the virgin/whore complex. also a lot of men that do end up with their "virgin" often times have problems sexually fantasizing about them or if they are in relationship with them have sexual relations with them.

[quote] I admit it's not the best of ways to look at things but it seems to be a perspective that has existed in me since my early teens. Sort of a hold over from the constant influence of the "Not the type of woman you'd bring home to meet your mother!"[quote]this is the best way I would describe it.

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I think in many ways it stems from the notion of not really looking at the person as a person but simply a sexual object or desire / stimulation. I can recall many a tale of good girls don't and you know she's not a good girl if she does. No commitment issues nor even a consideration of such a commitment, I suppose in a very corrupt sense a throw away person.!"
when growing up I saw this also. for me it wasn't a big deal until you had peer pressure in not hooking up with a girl who put out. and pretty much it was one or two strikes against them in some areas. I didn't see real changes in this until the early 90's.

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From an adolescent perspective the old 5 F's..Find em, Feel me, Finger em, F--l em, forget em.. not politically correct for sure but something I think in many ways was a right of passage discussion for teen males, at least as recent as 10 years ago for my sons.
first I heard of this. usually the term was Wham Bam thank you Mam

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What your describing here to me is the bee bee stage. The point where a man's mind shrinks to the size of a bee bee and runs straight down from the head on your shoulders to the head of the penis and begins to think for him. Which results many times in the beauty at night but chew off your arm vice waking her the next morning mentality.
lol

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The short answer is that tactile sensation, on its' own, has no inevitable association with moral desirability. Some guys might want to sleep with Kim on a one-off basis, but only the more genuinely immature or naive man would want to try and persue a long term relationship with her.
agreed. this more like a celebrity crush or "celebrity"crush.

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Women like Kim Kardashian are the sexual equivalent of a big, rich piece of chocolate cake. It looks and tastes great while you're eating it, immediately in the moment; but have too much of it, and you'll throw up, because the body recognises something that isn't good for it. She's the epitome of junk food.
besides stalkers and other psychotics this is the main reason celebs usually do not get involved with fans on a level like that.

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Also, Fera, while you might not be that superficial as a person yourself, I can absolutely assure you that female superficiality of the same degree exists. That's why we have male strippers, and ensemble shows like Manpower. They might try and deny it, but just as many straight women will go and see them, as will gay men.
I do agree it exists. but a lot of people supress it either on themselves or on other women.

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I personally can not, no. Most of the time, I require an enormous degree of trust before sexual arousal can even begin to take place. The one exception to this rule for me, for some inexplicable reason, is women who are of one of the hispanic ethnic groups in particular.

My last ex-girlfriend was half Spanish, and another relationship before that was with a native Mexican woman. Both were intense, passionate, and volatile, and ultimately ended badly. I encountered a native Brazilian woman in Nimbin, who I thought it wise to deline a sexual invitation from, as well; although doing so was difficult, and has resulted in much regret since. I have no idea why, but Spanish or South American women in particular, are capable of completely disabling whatever sense of good judgement I might otherwise have, in sexual terms. It is a terrible, even compulsive weakness of mine, and one which can therefore be rather dangerous.
for this here it seems to me you have an attraction to women of Hispanic descent. while other groups you have a weak attraction. this is your preference and there is nothing wrong with that.


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On the whole I agree with Petrus here, the first part of what he says in particular.
I don't think there is a great deal of difference between the way men and women view sex and attraction.
I would say there is a difference. but a good percentage of it comes from cultural taboos. both sexes operate on mental and physical attraction. men usually gear towards the physical while women towards the mental as well as peer pressure.

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There is however I think more of a difference in how we view relationships. In general I think women tend to take a longer term view even in trivial relationships than men do.
this I am not sure about. as it might have to do with cultural training.
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Last edited by Lightdragon; 09-25-13 at 08:36 AM. Reason: forgot to add something.
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Old 09-25-13   #26
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.. then you have what is sometimes called the virgin/whore complex. also a lot of men that do end up with their "virgin" often times have problems sexually fantasizing about them or if they are in relationship with them have sexual relations with them.
No, more of a social and class issue type thing. It's like there were certain families you did not marry not because they were though of as hoe's but because of their social standing in the community. You might take one to bed for a night and that was sort of accepted, perhaps even expected, but you'd never even think of marrying one of those girls. Very much driven by social strata and respectability.

Then there was the notion of you never married a girl who went into the military. It was assumed right off the bat they were either ugly and could't get a man at home, were lesbian and seeking lesbian lovers or simply out for a husband. I recall I entered the military in 1978 and my sister wanted to go in in 1980 and my father went off on her yet for me it was perfectly fine and acceptable to do so.

While my wife is a former Marine and Sailor she was caught up in that mind set herself. Even the higher ups though pretty much the same about all females regardless of the branch of service. I should point out that my wife didn't get pregnant and get out right away so she didn't catch that extra flack of simply looking for a husband. Then when they found our her mom and dad were both Marines then it was "Oh, ok she's just a military brat!" which made her different.

I suppose that is why the military still has such a mindset about women in the military in many ways and what is expected or assumed about them.
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Old 09-25-13   #27
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No, more of a social and class issue type thing. It's like there were certain families you did not marry not because they were though of as hoe's but because of their social standing in the community. You might take one to bed for a night and that was sort of accepted, perhaps even expected, but you'd never even think of marrying one of those girls. Very much driven by social strata and respectability.
oh yeah. I forgot about that.

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Then there was the notion of you never married a girl who went into the military. It was assumed right off the bat they were either ugly and could't get a man at home, were lesbian and seeking lesbian lovers or simply out for a husband. I recall I entered the military in 1978 and my sister wanted to go in in 1980 and my father went off on her yet for me it was perfectly fine and acceptable to do so.
I think in the WW II era a lot of them also regarded them as having VD as well. at least one teacher who fought in WWII said that about them.
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Old 09-25-13   #28
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.. I think in the WW II era a lot of them also regarded them as having VD as well. at least one teacher who fought in WWII said that about them.
That part I've never heard before. Lesbian was the big one I recall and it carried over into semi-professional sports of the period. I admit though it might have had something to do with what part of the military they joined. Consider Nurses were different than say the WAV's or WAC's of the all volunteer women's groups.
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Old 09-25-13   #29
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That part I've never heard before. Lesbian was the big one I recall and it carried over into semi-professional sports of the period. I admit though it might have had something to do with what part of the military they joined. Consider Nurses were different than say the WAV's or WAC's of the all volunteer women's groups.
I think it might have been WAC's.
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