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Old 08-11-11   #11
HRH
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Default Re: Bird messengers

Okay, this is where everyone loses any respect they may have for me, but I clicked here, and it applies, so for the sake of honesty, I must respond.

All my life I have had a severe and debilitating phobia of birds and feathers. My earliest memory is of a recurring nightmare involving feathers. It was more horrible than I can describe. There just aren't enough words to express the terror. I suffered panic attacks over boas, dusters, feather pillows, and anything involving birds. (Only once in my life can I remember not being afraid of a bird, but that's a story for another thread.) I could not function in a city environment, because of pigeons. I went in a school trip, where they watched The Birds in 3D, and even though I spent the entire movie with my head between my knees, covering my ears, I still ended up in the hospital with that modern wonder, Ativan, coursing through my veins.

All my life, birds have flocked to me. I'm not exaggerating. Anyone who knows me can tell you. I couldn't go out in public alone, because it was so severe. At Walmart, as soon as I parked, birds would land on my car. They circle overhead and dive at me. Three types of birds built nests in one tree in my backyard, which my cousin says is almost unheard-of. If I were to sit outside for long, my yard would be covered in birds. My fear grew as I got older, and in recent years had grown exponentially.

Last year, I swear to you, a bluejay tried to gentle me. You know how, with a stray or wild animal, you stand just outside their comfort zone, speaking gently, moving closer each day, testing their limits and getting closer and closer until they are comfortable enough to eat from your hand? This bird did that. Every day, he came closer, calling to me, not moving, just letting me get comfortable. By the end of summer, he was on the patio with me. After a couple of weeks, I realized what he was doing, but I felt that he wasn't pushing, he was trying to help, so I went out every day. But the patio was my limit. I thanked him and told him I just couldn't do it. The next day, he was back a few steps, just sitting there. I stopped going out.

Then, I stopped going anywhere. I let my fear win, and I hid inside my house like a frightened child. I was ashamed. I'm supposed to be this strong, intelligent, powerful woman, and I'm reduced to a babbling moron by a feather duster. People come to me for guidance, but my fear was so strong that it ruled my life. I felt like a worthless fraud. How could I possibly advise others when a finch at the pet store sent me screaming and running away? I lost myself, for quite awhile.

Psychologists, psychiatrists, drugs, treatments, meditation, nothing worked. Until, one day this spring, I dreamt of a bird speaking to me. He said, quite clearly, "You must dream that dream. It's time to finish it." So, I began meditating on the dream that started it all. It was a horrible dream of a past life experience that I never could bring myself to focus on. I had reached a point where I simply could not avoid it, though. The birds were everywhere, even trying to come in my house. I know how crazy it sounds. I lived it.

I did dream the dream. I worked through it, and with understanding came, as usual, a release of the fear. As soon as that debilitating fear was lifted from me, the birds went away. No birds have been in my backyard for two months. No birds have landed on my vehicle, or pecked at my windshield. No birds have circled above me when I went out in public. It's very odd, and others have noticed, too.

I guess I just really needed that lesson. It sounds absolutely prideful to say that I think thousands of creatures conspired to teach me a lesson, but it sounds ungrateful not to acknowledge their help. So, there you have it. I've noticed a difference this year. They aren't there. Or, rather, no more than in a normal, sane human being's life, anyway.

I'm not saying birds will ever be my favorite creatures. But last week, I found a single, perfectly white feather lying across my path and picked it up.
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Old 08-12-11   #12
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Default Re: Bird messengers

White egrets (and to a lesser extent, other herons) have always represented "God" to me. Oftentimes, if I am going through a difficult period, I will see them, and be reminded that I am not alone.

As trivial as it sounds, today, I was at a coffee house with my aunt. I paid for my parking slip, put it on my dashboard, and went in. When I came out an hour later (with plenty of time left on the slip), I found a parking ticket left by some unobservant officer. I am easily wound up, some days; today was such a day. As I was driving home, I saw a flash of white to my left. I looked, and just before it was out of sight, I saw it - an egret, flying over me. "Take a deep breath," she said, "I am with you. You don't need to worry over this. It'll all be all right."
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Old 08-12-11   #13
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Default Re: Bird messengers

HRH - I give you much credit for sharing such a difficult story. I'm glad that you were able to work thru it.

I've noticed that during my most difficult times that crows gather quietly. I wonder why that is?
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Old 08-12-11   #14
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Default Re: Bird messengers

Quote:
Originally Posted by HRH View Post
Okay, this is where everyone loses any respect they may have for me, but I clicked here, and it applies, so for the sake of honesty, I must respond.
I can't imagine any evolved adult losing respect for someone over their phobia. Anyone who did, I would suggest discarding their opinion. I suffered from severe panic attacks (different rigger) for much of my life. It was only through inner strength and intelligent perseverance, that I eventually overcame mine(and I still dance on the edge of it from time to time). I believe that sharing something like this, not to mention overcoming it, is a thing to be greatly respected.





Quote:
Then, I stopped going anywhere. I let my fear win, and I hid inside my house like a frightened child. I was ashamed. I'm supposed to be this strong, intelligent, powerful woman, and I'm reduced to a babbling moron by a feather duster. People come to me for guidance, but my fear was so strong that it ruled my life. I felt like a worthless fraud. How could I possibly advise others when a finch at the pet store sent me screaming and running away? I lost myself, for quite awhile.
So many lessons in this I hardly know what to say - but I have no doubt, you got them all, as it turns out.





Quote:
I did dream the dream. I worked through it, and with understanding came, as usual, a release of the fear. As soon as that debilitating fear was lifted from me, the birds went away. No birds have been in my backyard for two months. No birds have landed on my vehicle, or pecked at my windshield. No birds have circled above me when I went out in public. It's very odd, and others have noticed, too.
Their work was over.

Quote:
I guess I just really needed that lesson. It sounds absolutely prideful to say that I think thousands of creatures conspired to teach me a lesson, but it sounds ungrateful not to acknowledge their help.
It doesn't sound prideful to me at all, but then, animals of all description have been conspiring to help, teach, support and even save me, over my lifetime. I just think you were blessed....you were healed.


So, there you have it. I've noticed a difference this year. They aren't there. Or, rather, no more than in a normal, sane human being's life, anyway.

Quote:
I'm not saying birds will ever be my favorite creatures. But last week, I found a single, perfectly white feather lying across my path and picked it up.

Beautiful.


The Blue Jay


Animal symbolism of determination, assertiveness, and intelligence is also a shared trait among those who claim the blue jay as their totem (and also common attributes with those having the vocations above listed). We see these characteristics in the blue jay because it is fiercely bold against its enemies.
The jay is fearless when it comes to protecting its partner, young and territory. So too are those with this animal as their totem. They will defend their positions against adversaries who seem much more powerful than themselves – often with successful results.
Blue jay animal symbolism resonates truth, faithfulness, and solidarity because they are vigilant in their tasks. They also keep the same mate for life, which is symbolic of endurance, patience and loyalty. The jay is an excellent symbol for those wishing to honor their long-lasting bond between friends, family and lovers.
In the spiritual realm, the blue jay speaks of clarity and vision. In Native American symbolism(namely the Sioux Nation) the azure of the jay against the blue sky indicated a “double vision” or double clarity. This visual/spiritual “blue on blue” concept speaks of purity of the soul, truth of the heart, and clarity of thought.
In dreams the blue jay animal symbolism also deals with clarity – but of higher thoughts, and taking action. When we dream of blue jays our deeper selves may be telling us that we are not being honest with ourselves about something, and it’s time to “come clean” with our thoughts. Blue jay’s in dreams are also symbolic of taking action in the direction of our highest truth. The jay asks for honesty, and forthrightness – any other action taken (such as deceptive or dishonest action) will mean double jeopardy for us in our waking hours.
These spiritual and dream impressions are especially poignant because the jay is an air animal totem. Creatures of the air naturally symbolize the realm of thought, higher ideals, spirituality and the attainment of higher truth.
The Sioux also observed the jay preferring fir and oak trees for their homes and nesting areas. These trees are symbolic of longevity, endurance and strength, and so share the same animal symbolism with the blue jay.
This is not to say the jay is persnickety. On the contrary, the blue jay animal symbolism includes aspects of opportunity and advantage because it will make its home anywhere. From supermarket awnings, to mailboxes, the blue jay is extremely resourceful and makes the best out of its environment. Those with the jay as their totem are likely to be the same way. Generally easy-going, jay people are able to make a turn situations around to their best advantage, and make awesome lemon aid out of the sourest of lemons.
Blue jay’s are vastly curious, stopping to peck at any shiny thing that catches their eye (much like crows and magpies). Those who resonate with the blue jay will also find themselves equally curious. Indeed, blue jay people have are always dabbling in new directions, gathering new insight, and slaking their curiosities. These people tend to be a jack-of-all trades, knowing a little bit about seemingly everything. This makes them fantastic trouble-shooters and quite resourceful (not to mention fascinating party guests)
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Old 07-07-14   #15
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Default Re: Bird messengers

I was in a relationship with a man and he was crazy about magpies. These birds are very smart. One day I came home and there was a dead magpie on my porch.................that never happens, there are magpies all over my yard...........they have nested so low we could look inside and see the babies...........it was an omen that my relationship with this man was over..............felt it right away as I saw the dead magpie.
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Old 07-07-14   #16
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Default Re: Bird messengers

I am in the city now but last yr on my acreage there was a Baltimore oriole nesting..........the first time in 12 yrs of living there............I made up a ritual to honour the bird using orange and black ribbons on a forked old branch..........painted my face orange and black.............it was fun, not sure it really meant that much other than I was over the moon happy to see the oriole in my yard feeding.............put out oranges cut in half and it came to the humming bird feeder.
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Old 07-07-14   #17
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Default Re: Bird messengers

On my walk home today a little black bird of some sort was flying in circles around my head, his little shadow making me a bit dizzy lol....only for a portion of the road, not all the way home or anything, but it was new to me. So when I checked ESF after getting in and saw this thread at the top of recents, I had to read through it right away lol


I've noticed orioles, goldfinches in the backyard a lot this year. And cardinals usually don't show up here after early spring but are all over the place as I speak. Lots of color in the backyard all of a sudden, compared to previous years. Maybe it's a good year for birds many places....
Orioles are absolutely gorgeous...the ritual sounds fun whether or not the birdies paid any attention lol....

We've had a pair of baby mourning doves that like to sit and chill side by side on the deck rail right in front of a window. Not long ago the pair of them would sit there and wait for the mom to come feed them and then they'd make the funniest noises. They are getting fat and grown up looking now but always still want to cuddle in that spot. It's so cute.
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