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Old 01-04-12   #1
PrincessKLS

 
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Default Thoughts on why you shouldn't cast a love spell...

Okay so I had this thought that popped up in my head. Okay so one of the biggest taboos in magick is to cast a love spell on a certain person to make them fall in love with you. Apparently other than the argument of free will, you also have to worry about negative, unforseen consequences such as what if the person isn't who you thought he/she was and they turn out to be really wrong for you, or they are abusive. Assuming it worked in the first place. But also what if the person you casted a spell on turned out to not share the sexual orientation as you. Like it happens all the time that a straight girl with no gaydar thinks she's met her prince charming and he turns out to be gay, . That's the personal angle I'm working from since I can identify with it. Okay so I've never casted a love spell on a gentleman, much less someone who turned out gay, but I did kind of temporarily crushed on a guy I knew that ended up being gay, although these days he claims to be bisexual but still comes across totally gay. But anyway, that's just something that entered my thoughts. And given the type of men I'm mostly attracted to as far as looks, personality, charm, etc it can happen to me

Anyway, what's your thoughts on casting direct love spells for any reason?
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Old 01-19-12   #2
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Default Re: Thughts on why you shouldn't cast a love spell...

The only love spells I think are ok are generalized spells, "Bring the right person to me" but nothing direct.
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Old 01-19-12   #3
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Default Re: Thughts on why you shouldn't cast a love spell...

Spiritual/emotional rape. Not okay.
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Old 01-19-12   #4
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Default Re: Thughts on why you shouldn't cast a love spell...

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Originally Posted by PrincessKLS View Post
Okay so one of the biggest taboos in magick is to cast a love spell on a certain person to make them fall in love with you.

It's not only taboo, it's not possible to make someone love you. (I know, I'm always saying everything is possible--this is the exception that proves the rule.) You can make them attracted to you, you can mess with their mind and make them think they love you. You can come up with a reasonable facsimile that might make you content, but you cannot force love. Love is a force all its own and the definition may vary, but one thing remains throughout every definition: "given freely." You cannot force something that must be given freely in order to exist. If you are forcing someone to behave and/or think a certain way, it is not love, no matter how close the resemblance.


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Anyway, what's your thoughts on casting direct love spells for any reason?
There is absolutely no reason to cast what is commonly called a love spell. Those who are hurt and lonely, desperate for human interaction, try it, sometimes. Even when the spell is perfectly cast and there are no horror movie consequences, what you end up with is someone even more lonely, hurt, and desperate. They have a close enough facsimile to their heart's desire that it makes them long for it all the more. It hurts to think that the object of your affection is only yours because you committed an act of rape that binds them to you. These spells usually hurt the practitioner far more than their intended victim.
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Old 01-20-12   #5
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Default Re: Thughts on why you shouldn't cast a love spell...

One of the first spells I ever cast, with a proper circle and everything, was a love spell. I didn't even ask for a specific person, I simply asked for love to come to me. Boy, was that foolish.

Within a month, I had four boys all slavering over me, which you would think is a good thing. Unfortunately, I was still exploring my personal opinions about love, lust, and sexuality, and I wound up fooling around with three of them, breaking one's heart, having almost an entire fraternity start emailing me harassing messages and calling me a slut, and losing a very good friend who I had absolutely no interest in because I did not want to be with him.

Needless to say, it did not go well.
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Old 01-29-12   #6
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Default Re: Thughts on why you shouldn't cast a love spell...

Sorry to hear that, I think most people casts a spell for love indirectly with good intentions.
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Old 01-29-12   #7
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Default Re: Thughts on why you shouldn't cast a love spell...

"Love spells" are about as stupid as arranged marriages... with the important note that arranged marriages sometimes work out to the benefit of both individuals.

The entire concept of a "love spell" is contradictory to me. If you truly wanted love, you wouldn't be attempting to force somebody into a relationship with you (whether you knew them or not). If you knew someone well enough to truly *love* them, it would make you sad to not be with them, but it would absolutely break your heart to know that you've enslaved them to make yourself happy, regardless of what they want. When you truly LOVE somebody, it's not "me me me, my my my, now now now"!

Best "love spell" if you're interested in a real, tangible person that you know? Be honest with them. If you're interested in them, let them know. If they're not interested in you (in that way), trying to control them into "loving" you is the antithesis of love.

Best "love spell" if you don't have your eye on someone in particular? Socialize! Meet people! And if someone catches your curiosity, get to know them! Spend time with them! Real love doesn't happen after one evening of cocktails and lighthearted banter.

The thing about any kind of energy work, is that you have to be in the "right place" to do it successfully. And the only people who use "love spells" are very desperate, lonely people. (If they weren't, and they thought they could find friends/relationships IRL, they wouldn't think they needed a "spell" to do it for them.) Anyone worth their salt knows that what you send out is directly related to what returns to you. So... if you're doing something out of desperation and loneliness, nothing good will come of it.

Seriously, though... just focus on making friends. Deep, true friends. Eventually you'll meet somebody (often through friends!), and it'll be a turning point in your life. You might not know it then, but they might just be your life partner. The more you stress about not having a "lover" (which is mostly just what people call their "friends with benefits" these days), the more you're going to be walking around with a dark cloud over your head, and you won't notice when real opportunities to get to know people DO come up!

One last note, for full disclosure: I don't get the whole, "sex is SOOOO important for every relationship, and that's how you know you're in love, and also, if you have LOTS of sex, you'll love each other MORE!!" thing. I know it's purely anecdotal, but out of the major relationships I've had in my life, the two "normally" sexual ones were both pretty, uh, contradictory to that concept? One was abusive, and the other was, uh, fun? I guess? But it certainly wasn't a deep, committed relationship. The most meaningful, longest-lasting, beautiful, and spiritually fulfilling relationship I've ever had (and am currently in)? Sex is SO not important. It's, like, barely a factor at all. If we both were chopped in half like Darth Maul, and our bottom halves fell down a pit into lasers, and the rest of our bodies survived, it wouldn't matter in the slightest.

So, yeah, if sex is what everything is about to you, the physical gratification is the most important thing, I guess my opinion/advice won't be very relevant.

But if you're actually looking for love... really get to know the people you feel drawn toward in your life. What could it hurt, to be friends?
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Old 01-29-12   #8
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Default Re: Thughts on why you shouldn't cast a love spell...

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Originally Posted by Myliobatis View Post

One last note, for full disclosure: I don't get the whole, "sex is SOOOO important for every relationship, and that's how you know you're in love, and also, if you have LOTS of sex, you'll love each other MORE!!" thing. I know it's purely anecdotal, but out of the major relationships I've had in my life, the two "normally" sexual ones were both pretty, uh, contradictory to that concept? One was abusive, and the other was, uh, fun? I guess? But it certainly wasn't a deep, committed relationship. The most meaningful, longest-lasting, beautiful, and spiritually fulfilling relationship I've ever had (and am currently in)? Sex is SO not important. It's, like, barely a factor at all. If we both were chopped in half like Darth Maul, and our bottom halves fell down a pit into lasers, and the rest of our bodies survived, it wouldn't matter in the slightest.
While I don't dispute that this is the case for you Mylio (why would I), stating that this is, or should be, the case for everyone is delusional at best, dictatorial at worst. It's no different than me saying that a relationship is irrelevant and worth nothing unless you are having 'blow the top off your head' sex multiple times a day.

Different strokes for different folks.

There's no absolute right or wrong. There's only what right for us as individuals, and it's only right if we, decide for ourselves as individuals. Plus what might be right at one stage in one's life might be wrong at a different stage.

As for the OP, I agree with what everybody else has said. At best - not a good idea. At worst - what Koka said - "Spiritual/emotional rape".

You'd be far better off engaging in activities that you enjoy and meeting as many people as possible and see if love and/or friendship doesn't blossom that way.
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Old 01-29-12   #9
David_2010

 
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Default Re: Thughts on why you shouldn't cast a love spell...

I agree with Myliobatis, although, I'd add, spells to help direct you towards love, or bring in more love should be ok, as it's not forcing someone to be with you, it's just bringing the energy of Love into your life, not a specific person.
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Old 01-30-12   #10
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Default Re: Thughts on why you shouldn't cast a love spell...

A direct love spell - to make a specific person fall in love with you - (a) is completely against my moral framework, at least akin to date-rape if not worse, and (b) won't work long term anyway, for all the reasons already stated. And, it may stop your 'target' forming a relationship they were meant to have, which, if you believe in the law of return, will have consequences for you as well.

A spell to attract love may work, but DiscordianJoy's example shows that the old adage 'be very careful what you wish for' applies.

An overall spell to make the caster more attractive - in mind, body and spirit - coupled with putting effort into socialising, is the option most likely to work.

I apply the same reasoning to the other old saw, spells for employment. A spell to get a specific job suffers the same problems as a specific love spell: it's like falsifying an application form and unlikely to work long term, and it may stop someone who is a better candidate and needs the job more than you do, getting the position. (I admit to having broken my own rule here, once. When I ran my own firm there was a contract I dearly wanted. We got the contract and because of the other people involved it was an unmitigated disaster and ended up costing me a lot of money.)

A spell to get a job can result in a job that you hate, or where the travelling costs exceed the likely take-home, or where the shifts or commute destroy your social life, so again, be very careful what you wish for (I've done all of the above over the years, but have never resorted to spells to dig myself those particular pits).

A spell to make you more confident at interview, coupled with reading up on industrial psychology, practicing with a friend, getting a decent haircut and buying or borrowing good shoes is, IMO, most likely to succeed.

And since the sex thing came up, as it often does, I agree with TheThing that every relationship is different. My wife and I have a fulfilled and fulfilling sex life, and it's important to both of us. But if that were all to come to an end for some physical reason, we'd still be madly in love. And not a love spell in sight.

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